Evaluating Thesis Statements  
Take the Quizzes Before or After to Review: Thesis Quiz 1, Thesis Quiz 2, Thesis Quiz 3

Directions: Read and discuss the example thesis statements for each of the following 15 writing prompt topics.    

1. What is the ideal college class?
*The ideal college class will be educating, entertainment, and enlightened.
What's wrong: Some word form errors: ‘will be’, ‘educating’, ‘entertainment’, and ‘enlightened’    

*An ideal college class would be educational, be entertaining, and also be enlightening.
What's wrong: Close but not quite. The verb ‘be’ does not need to be repeated 3 times.    

:-) The ideal college class is educational, entertaining, and enlightening.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure. 

2. Does technology help students learn more efficiently?
*Students using new technologies such as online search engines means they learn better, fast and most in depth.
What's wrong: Needs to use proper comparison grammar     

*Having students use new technologies such as online search engines enable they to learn better, faster and more in depth.
What's wrong: Word form errors: ‘enable’ and ‘they’     

:-) New technologies such as online search engines allow students to learn better, faster and more in depth.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.  

3. What are the advantages or disadvantages of online learning?
 *Some benefits of online learning are ease of scheduling, lower costs than classroom-based learning, and flexible time for studying.
What's wrong: Errors in parallelism: ‘lower costs than classroom-based learning’ is the only one that mentions ‘classroom-based learning’. This should be mentioned only once, either at the beginning or the end of the 3 main points.     

*Some benefits of online learning are its scheduling, cost, and flexibility.
What's wrong: Needs descriptive elements and comparison grammar added to the 3 main points     

:-) Compared to classroom based learning, online learning is easier to schedule, costs less, and has more flexible studying options.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.    

4. What are the advantages or disadvantages of online learning?
 *Some disadvantages of online learning are the lacking of face-to-face classroom contact and the jam-packed scheduling of learners. What's wrong:  Some word form errors: ‘the lacking’ and ‘scheduling’     

:-) Some disadvantages of online learning are that face-to-face classroom contact is lacking and the schedules of learners are jam-packed.
What's right: 'This one is okay but the next answer is better. The writer’s stance is clear and the 2 main points have parallel grammatical structure.      

:-) Some disadvantages of online learning are the lack of face-to-face classroom contact and the jam-packed schedules of learners.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 2 main points have parallel grammatical structure. Look at the previous answer.    

5. Should schools pay for sports programs as well as educational materials?       
*Schools should support sports programs in addition to buying educational supplies because of the important of good health, a balance education, and competition school spirit.
What's wrong: Some word form errors: 'important', 'balance', and 'competition'     

*Schools should support sports programs in addition to buying educational supplies because of health, balanced education, and school spirit should be strong.
What's wrong: Errors is parallelism: ‘health’ is a noun, ‘balanced education’ is a noun phrase, and ‘school spirit should be strong’ is an entire clause     

:-) Schools should support sports programs in addition to buying educational supplies because of the importance of good health, a balanced education, and competitive school spirit.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.

 
6. Should all students study math, even if their intended major does not require it?
*Students should study math regardless of their majors due to the fact that mathematical skills are needed for going shopping at the mall, making a budget for the family, and investing money in retirement accounts.
What's wrong: This is too detailed for a thesis statement. These details should be included in the body paragraphs.    

*Students should study math regardless of their majors since mathematical skills are needed to shop, budgeting, and investments.
What's wrong: Errors is parallelism: ‘shop’, ‘budgeting’, and ‘investments’ need to be the same part of speech.     

:-) Students should study math regardless of their majors because mathematical skills are needed for shopping, budgeting, and investing. What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.  

7. What should a job interviewee do to succeed?
*To have a successful job interview, a job candidate should practicing answer questions, dressing well, and being polite.
What's wrong: Some word form errors: 'practicing', ‘answer’, ‘dressing’, and ‘being’     

*To have a successful job interview, a job candidate should practice answering questions, be fashionable, and be nice.
What's wrong: Some mistakes: An interviewee can be fashionable but not appropriately dressed for an interview, and ‘nice’ is less descriptive than ‘polite’     

:-) To have a successful job interview, a job candidate should practice answering questions, dress well, and be polite.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.  

8. Which is preferable, living in a small town or a a big city?     
*Living in a small town is preferable to a big city because of the air quality, a safer environment, and the slow pace of life.
What's wrong: Needs to include descriptive differences or comparison grammar     

:-) Fresh air, a safe environment and a relaxed pace of life are all reasons to prefer living in a small town instead of a big city.
What's right:  The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure. Look at the next answers.     

:-) Living in a small town is preferable to a big city because the air is fresher, the environment is safer, and the pace of life is slower.
What's right: This one is also correct. The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.     

:-) Living in a small town is preferable to a big city because of the air, environment, and pace of life.
What's right: This one is also correct. The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.   

9. Which is preferable, living in a small town or a a big city? 
 *Living in a big city is preferable to a small town because of the culture, employment and education opportunities.
What's wrong: Word form errors: ‘culture’ and ‘education’     

:-) Living in a big city is preferable to a small town because cultural, employment and educational opportunities are available.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure. Note ‘because’ + clause (subject & verb).       

:-) Living in a big city is preferable to a small town because of the cultural, employment and educational opportunities.
What's right: This one is also correct.   The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure. Note 'because of' + noun phrase.  

10. Are people negatively influenced by watching TV?       
*Watching too many television programs can lead to unrealistic expectations because the presentation of contrived views of reality, overly simplistic solutions, and excessive violence.
What's wrong: A clause (subject & verb) is needed after ‘because’, but only noun phrases follow.     

:-) Watching too many television programs can lead to unrealistic expectations due to the presentation of contrived views of reality, overly simplistic solutions, and excessive violence.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure. Look at the next answer.     

:-) Watching too many television programs can lead to unrealistic expectations because the views of reality are contrived, solutions are overly simplistic, and violence is excessive.
What's right: This one is also correct. The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.  

11. Can watching TV be a positive pastime?
*Watching television is a useful activity because a person can learn from knowledgeable programs, know what events are happening around the world, and be entertained with music and movies.
What's wrong: This is too detailed for a thesis statement. These details should be included in the body paragraphs.     

*Watching television is a useful activity because a person can learn from education programs, know what is happen around the world, and be entertain.
What's wrong: Some word form errors: ‘education’, ‘happen’, and ‘entertain’     

:-) Watching television is a useful activity because a person can learn from educational programs, know what is happening around the world, and be entertained.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.

12. Why are people living longer than in the past?       
*Due to better food, improved health care, and a better standard of living, people are living longer than in previous generations.
What's wrong: Errors is parallelism: ‘better food’, ‘improved health care’ and ‘a better standard of living’ are not parallel – either all should use the same adjective (e.g. 'better', listed once at the beginning of the series) or all different adjectives (e.g. 'better', 'improved' and 'higher')     

*Because we can eat better food, have access to doctors, and we have a good standard of living, people are living longer than previous generations.
What's wrong: Errors is parallelism: ‘we can eat’, ‘have’, and ‘we have’ are not parallel     

:-) Better food, improved health care, and a higher standard of living are all factors that enable people to live longer than in the past.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.  

13. What are the benefits of participating in sports?
*Some benefits of participating in sports include good health, working on a team, and a competition.
What's wrong: Needs to have similar grammar construction for all 3 main points     

*Some benefits of participating in sports include having good healthy, the ability to working on a team, and a competitive spirited.
What's wrong: Some word form errors: ‘healthy’, ‘working’, ‘competitive’, and 'spirited'     

:-) Some benefits of participating in sports include having good health, the ability to work on a team, and a competitive spirit.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.  

14. What are the qualities of a good friend?
 *Three qualities of a good friend are loyal, lovely and thoughtful.
What's wrong: Some word form errors: 'loyal', 'lovely', and 'thoughtful'     

*Three qualities of a good friend are to have loyalty and love and be thoughtful.
What's wrong: Errors in parallelism: Should be ‘to have’ or ‘to be’ for all three qualities.     

:-) Three qualities of a good friend are loyalty, love, and thoughtfulness.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.     

15. What makes a marriage successful?
 *The qualities of a successful marriage are loving, respecting, and laughing.
What's wrong:  Some word form errors: ‘loving’, ‘respecting’, and ‘laughing’     

*The qualities of a successful marriage are to have love, be respectful, and be funny.
What's wrong: Errors is parallelism: Should be ‘to have’ or ‘to be’ for all three qualities     

:-) The qualities of a successful marriage are love, respect, and humor.
What's right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.   

Take the Quizzes Before or After to Review: Thesis Quiz 1, Thesis Quiz 2, Thesis Quiz 3