Explanation for Model Essay 4

Model Essay #4 + Explanation

Model Expository Essay
Grammar and Writing Tips

Topic Prompt: If you could invent a few inventions to solve the world’s problems, what would you invent? In other words, what will be the most important inventions in the next 100 years?

Title: Important Inventions in the Future

INTRODUCTION

We often wonder what will be invented in the future to improve our situation. Albert Einstein noted, “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

[This first part of the introduction includes a quote as a hook. A hook is a way to capture the reader’s interest and add coherence to your essay.]

The main hooks to begin an essay with are

1. posing a question or two,

2. quoting a relevant proverb or saying,

3. mentioning a startling statistic or fact, or

4. telling a short story.

In the last 150 years, many inventions in communication, transportation, health and agriculture have solved various problems in our world and brought our entire planet closer.

[This sentence is a very general statement to introduce the topic.]

Specifically, the computer, cell phone, automobiles, vaccines, and improved farming techniques have made most people’s lives easier; however, problems still exist in the world.

[This sentence is a more specific statement to guide the reader towards a thesis.]

Many people lack access to clean drinking water, a pristine environment and higher education. Therefore, in the next 150 years, more inventions need to be created to improve the lives of many, and the following inventions stand out as being the most useful for our future.

[These sentences are the most specific and constitute the thesis statement.]

BODY PARAGRAPH 1

One of the biggest problems needing a solution is for everyone to have access to clean water. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1 in 6 people, or “1.1 billion persons worldwide lack access” to purified drinking water.

[These sentences introduce the first topic and use a statistic to support it.]

Therefore, one of the most important and dramatic inventions will be a ‘Water Generator’, a manageable device that can quickly generate water as abundantly as splitting an atom generates energy. Whole rivers and streams could be created or replenished in an organized fashion with this eco-friendly ‘Water Generator’.

[These sentences explain the specifics of the invention.]

Agriculture and farming would flourish, and then everyone in the world could have enough healthy food to eat. In addition, easily preventable diseases such as dysentery would be completely avoided.

[These sentences explain the benefits of the invention.]

BODY PARAGRAPH 2

Every day the land and seas are polluted, resources are over-utilized, and animals are left with fewer habitats.

[This sentence introduces the second topic.]

To overcome some of these problems, tiny but powerful ‘Solar Energy Packs’ could be invented to charge every mechanical device in businesses, homes and transportation. These small solar packs would be less polluting than regular batteries, oil or gas, because they would be rechargeable, even in cloudy weather. Cell phones, refrigerators, cars and trains would all run on ‘Solar Energy Packs’.

[These sentences explain the specifics of the invention.]

In addition, an organic solution to pollution could be created, with ‘Pollution-Eating Bugs’ helping to clean land and sea. In fact, according to a Science Daily article from 2005, “biomediation” of oil spills may already be developing.

[These sentences further develop the second topic and use a quote to support it.]

With ‘Solar Energy Packs’ and ‘Pollution-Eating Bugs’, we can more effectively conserve resources and the environment.

[This sentence summarizes the benefits of these inventions.]

BODY PARAGRAPH 3

In order to combat illiteracy and unemployment, a new program called ‘EduTube’ could be invented.

[This sentence introduces the third topic and subsequent invention.]

‘EduTube’ would be like YouTube but teachers and other students would interact with each other directly, using new styles of teleconferencing software to connect. ‘SmartTops’, a cross between a SmartPhone and a LapTop, would have libraries full of educational resources available on them.

[These sentences explain the specifics of the inventions.]

Students would no longer need to carry heavy books or travel long distances to learn. Materials would be free and accessible to everyone with a ‘SmartTop’, which would be as ubiquitous and cheap as a calculator is today. For job seekers, vocational training or learning a new skill would be easier using ‘EduTube’ and ‘SmartTops’.

[These sentences further develops the third topic with specific examples.]

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, in the future, many inventions will change our relationship with the planet, with each other, and with our own learning. With access to clean water, fresh produce, a purified environment, and education, more people will stay healthy, happy and wise.

[These sentences summarize and restate the thesis.]

Bruce Lee once said, “The future looks extremely bright indeed, with lots of possibilities ahead -- big possibilities. Like the song says, ‘We've just begun’”.

[A quote is another way to conclude an essay.]

Works Cited

Einstein, Albert. Quote retrieved from http://ThinkExist.com

Lee, Bruce. Quote retrieved from http://QuotationsBook.com

Science Daily. May 17, 2005 “A Hope For Oil Spill Bioremediation” Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/05/050517063708.htm

U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Atlanta, GA. "Safe Water System: A Low-Cost Technology for Safe Drinking Water." Fact Sheet, World Water Forum 4 Update. March 2006.